Life is a Choice
by Dakari-King Mykan
Summary: Beast Boy is so broken up after what happened with Terra on "Things Change" and things have taken an extreme turn for the worse that he makes his choice.


**_Author's notes:_**

 ** _I am not trying to promote suicide or anything like that, but I am very angry, and would like to channel my rage into this, as well as demonstrate my point._**

 ** _-When people don't like it and chastise me when I make BB evil in my fics, or runaway... then if I don't make him do those things... THIS is what happens._**

It was getting around sunset…

The young boy sat alone at his table on the outdoor balcony of the Pizza-Place, with a broken look on his face because his heart and his spirit had both been ultimately irreparably shattered. Around him stood several empty glasses, which had contained soda-water which he had drank to try and reduce his depression, but to no avail.

Across from him sat an empty stool. It was the same stool at the same table he had sat at with his friend the last time he brought her there, or at least she was his friend, maybe would have been more, except for what happened…!

She did not want to be his friend anymore. She did not wish to have anything to do with him, and pretended not to remember him for she wished to forget her past and peruse a normal life in her new school with her new friends.

 _"Things Change, Beast Boy. The girl you want me to be is just a memory."_

Those awful words continued to echo in his head, tormenting him and trying to force him into reality that it was over! He had lost her forever, and she was never coming back.

"Why Terra… just tell me why…?" he would keep whispering to himself over and over, but the only thing it was cause him more suffering, more pain… as if his insides were on fire. Every second burned him up.

Weeks had now past since what happened had happened back at the school, yet the pain and sadness still ate away at him. He had tried his hardest to think away from it and move on with his life… but then again; what had he really to move on to.

For all those weeks he had been spending quiet time by himself at home in his room, and he hardly ever went outside anymore. Where did he have to go anyway? The city had changed a lot, and all of his favorite places were gone.

The Candy Store where he got his gummy-worms, the Video Store, the arcade; all were tore up making way for that giant office complex that was still under construction.

The skate park had been torn down, because someone had bought the land it was sitting on and wished to build a new head office for his car company.

The theme park at the pier had been torn apart and taken away, and the whole place was now just a shipping area for boats.

Even the Pizza Place itself where he was sitting now was going out of business, as was hinted by all the signs posted around it.

He tried looking for other placed to hangout, but there were hardly any places left in the entire city. He looked, and even when he found one, he was treated very harshly…

"Ew… why is that guy green?"

"Yuck, he's got pointy ears."

"Beat it, kid. Only cool guys get to chill here, you're not one of 'em."

"Shoo!"

"Go away!"

"Get lost, Brat Boy!"

He tried to console with his friend, but the other Titans were very sympathetic with him-still not believing him that Terra had actually returned- they did not approve of his depressed attitude, and how he was ignoring any social activities.

"You need to grow up and face the facts that things change, Beast Boy." said Robin.

"I have nothing to say to one who is acting so glum all the time." said Starfire "Until you learn to change your ways and move forward in life, I will have nothing to say with you."

"Let it go, man." said Cyborg "She's gone, and she ain't comin' back. You need to learn to move on and grow up."

"I have nothing to say to you, sourpuss!" Raven simply said.

Not only were they not sympathetic, they decided that since Terra was not going to ever return, they dismantled her entire room, and turned it into a big study-hall where the team could brush up on their academics, and learning skills to keep their minds fresh.

Worse than that, they confiscated everything in Beast Boy's room that once belonged to Terra, made him think of Terra or had anything to do with her, in hopes of snapping him to his senses so he'd grow up. They even threw out the heart-shaped mirror box he had poured his heart and soul into making for Terra.

Some of the stuff even belonged to him, but they just tossed it right out, despite his pleas for them not to.

"Bottom line, Beast Boy…" snarled Robin "You need to let go of the past and move on to the future."

 _"YEAH!"_ the others all shouted.

From that point on, he had stopped communicating with them, and showed them no further respect.

That was why he was here now, sulking in his misery. He had no one to turn to. No place to go, nothing to do; he had nothing other than what he was feeling now; extreme hurt, betrayal, and other harsh feelings all at once… that and one last glass in front of him with only a little bit of soda-water left in it.

He pretty much had nothing left to live for anymore. Why continue to fight crime and protect people if all he was going to get from anyone was disrespect, ignorance and hatred?

"I don't have to be like this." he said to himself "I don't have to live with this pain. I have a choice… I can end it!"

He gazed at his drink, and was about to take another sip from it, with a nervous expression on his face…

"Hey!" snapped a voice.

He turned round and saw her; Terra… with her two friends from school, Jackie and Jillian. All three of them had obviously been shopping, but did they have to come to THIS particular place for Pizza!

His eyes met Terra's, and she looked away trying not to notice him, but she had already seen the look in his eyes; that unmistakable look of emptiness backed up by anger and sadness, and this brought up the bitter sadness in her own heart.

"What do you think you're doing here, Brat Boy? That's our table." snarled Jillian.

"It's Beast Boy!" he said deeply at the mean girl, "And this happens to be a public table."

The two girls were looking steamed and approached him. "Hey, guys don't!" said Terra.

"You got just ten seconds to get your green ugly face out of here…" Jackie sneered.

"Or you'll what, crush my hand again?" Beast Boy growled at them "Don't play games with me, ghouls!"

The girls' eyes were blazing with fury, and they looked ready to fight, until Terra calmed them down. "Please… let's just go sit at another table."

The girls calmed down and decided to pick another table.

"So long, Brat Boy." snapped Jillian.

"BEAST BOY!" he shouted at her and everyone around gazed over at him.

He just sat back down at his table and continued to sulk, but he could hear others whispering about him.

"What a jerk."

"That dude needs serious mental health issues."

"Who is that guy anyway?"

More ignorance, more hatred thrown his way, even Terra did not like this.

An hour later, after the girls had finished their Pizza and drinks, Beast Boy was still at his table on the far side of the court, with his backside facing theirs.

Jackie crumpled up her napkin and threw it at the back of his head to tease him. She hit him, and he didn't even flinch, but he did scowl.

"Hey." Terra said "That was mean…"

"Why are you standing up for that geek?" Jackie asked.

"Yeah, he's green, dorky, and a loser who stalked you." added Jillian.

Terra was livid by what they had just said. "I just don't want you saying bad things about him."

Her friends were now concerned with the way she was acting, almost as if she actually knew who that freak-show was. "Whatever." said Jackie, and then she and Jillian got up to head to the washrooms, leaving Terra on her own.

"…Brat Boy." Jillian loudly whispered at Beast Boy.

He didn't even respond, and just continued staring at his drink.

After the girls had gone, Terra kept staring at Beast Boy, and as much as she really didn't want to think about it, seeing him and the way he looked was really eating away at her.

It had been weeks since she told him off at the school, but she never forgot that day and how he must have felt.

She had to talk to him, now!

She slowly got up and walked right over to him sitting at the stool opposite on the other side of the table from his.

He didn't even look up at her, but sneered deeply "Did I miss the part where I said you could sit there?"

That felt cold, but somewhat deserving to her.

"You said it's a public table." she said "Never mind…"

Both of them said nothing for a moment. She continued to stare at him, but he didn't look at her. He just continued to stare down at his drink with that same look of anger and sadness on his face.

"Beast Boy, look, I'm sorry I hurt you."

"No you're not." he said cutting her off, and he finally looked up, into her eyes "You didn't just hurt me, you completely destroyed me! How could you do this to me, to us? Answer me, Terra!"

"Please stop calling me that!"

"Why? What else am I supposed to call you? Traitor… Backstabber…? Oh, how does… blind, stupid moron…?"

Her features hardened, and she would have gotten up and stormed off, but she urged herself to stay behind, for deep down she knew she deserved all that and more.

"What's happened to you?" she asked with concern "You're not the Beast Boy I remember."

"Funny, I thought you didn't remember me? Do you at least remember THAT?"

Another blow straight at her already guilty heart…

"Answer me! How could you do this?"

She struggled to find her words "I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to be the way I was. I wasn't happy, I just wanted to put it all behind me, and I didn't want to hurt people anymore. Why is it so hard for you to understand that?"

He said nothing at first, and just looked at her eyes, which seemed to be fighting back tears of pain. "I do understand…"

She felt a little confused.

"Believe me, I know what it's like to suffer and wanting to change."

He told her his story…

He, Garfield Logan, was bitten by a green monkey when he was no more than five, and he was cured but mutated into the green creature he was now by a serum his parents gave him.

Then his folks died in a flood, and he was powerless to save them.

His foster mother then died in a tank battle, leaving him to be abducted and raised by thieves to do their dirty bidding. He was harshly treated and was abused day and night, and even his cruel guardian tried to have him killed to collect the inheritance money.

He was then saved by the Doom Patrol, and was made a member, but was alienated by the harsh and uncaring ways of Mento, forcing him to strike out on his own, and then join the Titans, but even they soon turned to the same people he always knew; harsh uncaring, very bad people.

Being a comical kind of guy was just a façade he used in attempt to supress his depression, and not let others get involved with it all.

"Then you came along…" he said "And you know how it all went from there."

Terra indeed thought to everything; from the day they met, and all the good times they had, and how sweet and kind he was, he even forgave her after all the involvements with Slade and all that stuff… and yet…!

 _"Things Change, Beast Boy. The girl you want me to be is just a memory."_

Terra just sat where she was with a deeply shocked look on her face, as if she had seen a ghost.

"But you know what, Terra…" he said "I guess I can't blame you anymore. You've changed, you've moved on, you've got new friends and a new life and a bright future to make you happy. It's much better than what I've got!"

"Beast Boy… I…"

"No!" he snapped at her. She winced at his sharpness. "I don't want to hear it; I've been hurt and betrayed too many times. I have no future, I have no friends, I have no purpose… and I wanna thank you for stabbing me in the back and throwing salt in my wounds… just like everyone else I've ever known."

Her tears were falling now, streaking down her face. It pierced his own heart as well, and he did deeply regret it.

Now, he had said what needed to be said… and he sipped the last of his drink until not a drop was left.

"I'm sorry, Terra." he said sadly, not even looking at her "I don't want you to be hurt anymore… but I can't do this anymore. I can't keep hurting myself either."

She felt a deep concern in his words. "What are you saying?"

He looked up at her and smiled very sadly, as a single tear dripped from his eye. "I love you…" he whispered.

She gasped ever so softly and slowly. More tears spread down her face.

"I'm sorry… it'll be… o… kay…!" his voice was so soft she could hardly hear him.

"Beast Boy…!"

She saw him softly struggling, as if he couldn't breathe, and he was turning slightly pale, and then… he just collapsed onto the floor.

"BEAST BOY!" she screamed.

All the other people saw the whole thing as Terra got down to where he had fallen, and she found a small vial tucked into his glove containing poison powder he had slipped into his drink.

"Beast Boy…! BEAST BOY…!"

A man who was a doctor came over, and felt Beast Boy's neck for a pulse. Then he sadly looked up at everyone and he shook his head.

At that split second… Terra felt her heart explode into little pieces.

…

The very next day, the front pages of the paper said it all…

 ** _"TITAN TERMINATES IN TEARS"_**

The news went crazy with the story as well, and yet, still nobody seemed to care much, others were actually glad of it, especially Jackie and Jillian.

"What d'ya know. The geek went and did us all a favor." Jackie said.

"Ah, well, he deserved it." said Jillian "He was a loser, better he die!"

Terra was so hurt and outraged; she slapped them both across the face. "YOU'RE BOTH LOSERS!" she shouted, and she ran off sobbing!

The girls were left sore, and shocked!

…

As Beast Boy was not particularly liked or appreciated by nearly the entire city, the titans were left to decide about what to with his body.

All of them, now feeling intense guilt and remorse for the way they acted towards him, having discovered he took his own life in an act of depression.

Starfire even found a small video tape in his room, which was actually a confessional about what he was doing.

The titans, could barely find enough room in their hearts to give Beast Boy a small service of their own, and then burry him deep in the island the tower sat on.

All that time, they heard Beast Boy's confessional echo through their minds.

 _"Titans… by the time you see this, it's too late…_

 _I did what I did, because I had a choice._

 _Life is not just a gift, and life is not just a privilege; life is a choice, and what you do with it is a choice._

 _But sometimes, people and things just try to make the choices for you, even if sometimes they are completely wrong about things because they don't know you as well as they think they claim to._

 _All my life, I've never been given the choices I wanted. I could never choose to be happy, or have the things I always wanted that I wanted to hold dear. I was given no choice but to fact facts, get with the program and continue to live in loss, and pain… a pain that never stopped, and never got better in time._

 _But life is still a choice… and one thing I that I can choose is to end it._

 _I'm sorry, or rather I don't know I'm really sorry… but I just can't go on like this anymore, and there is nothing for me to gain, only to lose._

 _I'm sorry if I've been a burden. I'm sorry if I caused a bit trouble… but… well…_

 _…It's your choice, whether you choose to remember, or you choose to forget._

 _Life is… and always will be… a choice._

 _…Goodbye!_

 _…_

The burial was completed, and the team even carved a monument which read…

 _"Beast Boy"_

 _"A Teen Titan, a troubled guy."_

 _"May he be at peace?"_

That was all they could think of. It just didn't feel right to call him "Friend" as they didn't feel true friends to him, as they were largely responsible for him killing himself.

They couldn't even bring themselves to say sorry; it wouldn't help, and it wouldn't bring him back, but they would never forget him, and learn from their own errors.

"You're alright now, man." Cyborg said, while sniffling.

"Beast Boy…" Starfire peeped. Robin held her close and she rested her head on shoulder and cried softly.

Raven, with tears in her eyes levitated up, up to her window and entered her room. She threw herself on her bed and cried deeply into her pillow. "You idiot!" she said ever so softly "You dummy! You didn't have to…!"

…

Late that night, the tower was very dark, all the titans had gone to bed, but none of them were really sleeping; too hurt and too upset to get comfortable.

Not a soul saw the lone figure who crept onto the island, and approached Beast Boy's grave… it was Terra!

She dropped a single flower near the stone, and just gazed at it. Her body ached and was shaking with pain, now realize this had to be how he felt, and she felt it was all her fault, for pushing him away and off the edge.

"Beast Boy…" she peeped as she softly touched the cold stone, and then she actually embraced it, as if she were embracing him, letting her tears drip all over it.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry." She just sat there, weeping and saying those same words right through the night, until she had to leave and get ready for school.

She had to get on with her life now, with the burden forever on her shoulders, and a scar deep in her heart that would never heal.

It was her choice to live, and to grieve, as was the Titans.

…A choice!

 ** _Author's notes:_**

 ** _Go to Youtube, and look up "Beast Boy's Magic Voices 93"_**


End file.
